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Old 06-23-05, 10:54 PM   #1
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Canada I'm curious about your private lives.

What was the cleverest attempt made by an audience member to seduce you? Did it work?

Mine was a nymphet Mormon chick who locked gazes with me as she delicately sucked a popsicle stick dry with great...mmmm, drama.

She used a lipstick pencil to write her name on the stick and broke into puzzle bits... "Anna"

wrote her phone number on a dollar and then cut it into 20 bits...

Styley.
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Old 06-23-05, 11:29 PM   #2
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I'm so very tempted, and if you were who I think you are it would be fun (and if it's actually you lee, welcome, you took your time)
but I'm going to hold off a little til I'm sure.
It involved someone I found out later was my mother.
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Old 06-24-05, 07:43 AM   #3
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OK, I'll bite. This woman hung around for a while and talked to me between shows. She kept bending over so I could see down her bra and things like that. Finally she dropped a card in my hat with her name and phone number on it.

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Old 06-24-05, 11:38 AM   #4
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Canada

Oh it's me, baby. I'm back and I'm bigger than ever... well, slightly thinner.

Nice to see your still lurking about, Ewen... so sorry to read about yer Mum...
Unless she's hot.

Lee
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Old 06-24-05, 11:50 AM   #5
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I got stalked by a gay guy in his early 20s who found out where the hotel I was staying was. He then proceeded to leave weird drawings from his sketchbook, assorted letters and pink plastic Denny's cups at my door.

And good to hear from you, Mr. Zimmerman, hope you're well!
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Old 06-24-05, 11:56 AM   #6
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Nobody has ever tried to seduce me, let alone anybody clever. Well a mime artist did once actually but he wasn't my type and he made the fatal mistake of blowing the illussion and talking to me.
.
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Old 06-24-05, 12:48 PM   #7
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Lurk sort of both hot and not

Well Lee.
She LOOKED hot, but she was actually at room temperature and the embalmer had done such a good job that i didn't recognize her, and I got there early and she was such a good listener and I was lonely....(and you know a bit sad too, cos I loved my mum.)
I find inert people really seductive (people who make faces and run away, I find that quite a turn-off)
How slightly thinner are you?
Hard to imagine you svelte.
(not that you were ever fat, you had that arrested adolescent puppyfat thing going on.)
I bet you've got stories of your own to share.
Weren't you married to Hugh Hefner at one point?

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Old 06-24-05, 01:15 PM   #8
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Girlfriend found the post and I took it off. Sorry Jamie, I love you.
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Old 06-24-05, 02:06 PM   #9
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"Unless she's hot"

It is Lee!!!

Can't return drunken phone calls or drunken e-mails?
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Old 06-24-05, 04:40 PM   #10
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"there's a group of texan cowgirls in that winnebago over there who asked if you like to join them for a couple of hours.....are you up for it?"
It was far from clever,but it got my attention.
AL.
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Old 06-24-05, 05:37 PM   #11
em
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Default hah!!!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
gimme couple of days an i'll write properly we gotta go do a gig in Jersey, last time we went there, we, um got thrown out, but hey...sorry ignoring your thread title cos i'm too excited to be reply to a thread from THE Zimmerman! (ps we aint at glastonbury for the 1st time in 12 years, i think, an its been PISSING DOWN there)
couple a days, i be back!
love you, love from Peewee
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Old 06-24-05, 06:03 PM   #12
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Quote:
Well a mime artist did once actually but he wasn't my type and he made the fatal mistake of blowing the illussion and talking to me.

Lame joke aside, who the hell says "Mime Artist"
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Old 06-24-05, 11:15 PM   #13
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Default Lee!!!

Damn it, Led. Nice to hear from you. That's all I have for right now. I'm on that slight buzzed feeling where I know I should be far far away from Pnet before I type something stupid.

Whoops, already did.
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Old 06-25-05, 12:16 AM   #14
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Love

No Martin, Hef & I never really dated. He just kept me at his place for a while and used me up like a cheap whore... and I deserve bette- nooo... I deserve slightly bett-...nooo.
While I deserve something.
"Are you ashamed to be seen with me?"

Y'know, I think he actually preferred fake breasts to my rather ample, yet all-natural manboobs. ...queer.
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Old 06-25-05, 07:42 AM   #15
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Sounds like my relationship with Hulk Hogan.
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Old 06-25-05, 03:02 PM   #16
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Surely Hef just couldn't resist touching you ... why should he be any different?

(Hidey ho from me three, Lee)
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Old 06-25-05, 05:11 PM   #17
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The best seduction (and worst show I ever had), came after a circle of degenerates cluttering the streets of downtown Reno. The only thing I got was a note from a whore that introduced herself as P.B. Maxx. She asked for my autograph then gave me a napkin that stated "P.B. Maxx will X O U. 4th and wells". I've seen better penmanship from first graders...But she sucked a mean cock.

P.S. The last line was for comic effect, her snaggle tooth threw me off too much.
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Old 06-27-05, 10:59 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by jesus
Lame joke aside, who the hell says "Mime Artist"
The Sort of person who beleives in Jesus, The Patrician of Ankh Morpork, and just about anybody that isn't too heavily involved in the seedy world of hilarious over exagerated post expressionist sign language.

I forgive you my son. I forgive you.
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Old 07-04-05, 02:35 PM   #19
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I was proposed to by my volunteer. She threw a ring up with the fire torch and now we are happily married. Just passed the 6 month line.
and then there was the time with the boat load of brazilian models who requested my presence for 213 hours !!
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Old 07-05-05, 05:51 AM   #20
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Did you accept the offer by the Boat Load of Brazillian models?
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